Blah Blah Blah

Wednesdays are hard.

~

I don't know how this post is going to end up.

Let's get started.

~

I went on a date on Saturday.

It was a really good date.

Its been a while since I've been on a proper date.

Life is confusing

but isn't it always?

Yeah.

Love is confusing.

Liking people is confusing.

I don't want this to be a lovey dovey post though

so moving right along.

I finally started reading

The Fault in Our Stars.

I already love it.

Its already making me emotional.

/sigh

Things are complicated.

I'm worried about my nephew,

he isn't doing too well.

He's just a little guy.

He doesn't deserve this.

My family doesn't deserve this.

I understand that God has His plan.

I respect that.

But if He takes one more member of my family prematurely...

well I'm just not sure how I'm going to handle it.

I'm already not handling it well.

life is complicated.

I love the gospel

I'm so grateful and lucky to have it in my life.

I don't know what I'd do without it.

But,

I'm not perfect.

And I don't always understand why things happen.

I don't understand why I was bullied in school.

I don't understand why my uncle had to pass away.

I don't understand the majority of the bad things that have happened in my life have had to happen.

And this is no exception.

I don't understand it.

And honestly, it makes me angry.

It makes me so upset to think that there might be one more loss that my family has to suffer through.

I don't think its fair.

And I know life isn't fair.

And I know that we have trials for a reason.

And I know God has His plan.

I know all of that.

I believe all of that to be true.

And I'm grateful for that knowledge.

But it doesn't change that fact that right now,

I'm just kind of angry.

And I'd like that anger to go away.

I'd like to be given the ability to understand that this needs to happen even if I don't understand why it needs to happen...

Does that make sense?

I hope so.

Okay, so now that I've spilled my inner most thoughts to you...

I'm gonna go.

I love you all.

If you read this, 

and you happen to not mind,

if you would keep my family

specifically my sister and her family

in your prayers

I'd be forever appreciative.