...just sometimes...

Just sometimes I feel like I live in between reality and what I wish my reality was. Which can be very unfortunate when you're at a party trying to enjoy yourself but you just can' because yo just feel miserable. When a person is alone their imagination can take over, they can pretend tat their lie is better than it actually is, but wen they are suddenly in public they are harshly pulled out of this fantasy and are given and very painful reality check: your life is miserable, you aren't happy, none of these people like you very much, everyone is staring at you wondering why you're here. And, to be completely honest, that kind of hurts. But it gets easier with tie right? Isn't that what everyone says? Well I'm going to be very blunt here, no it does not get easier with time, you can't just sit around waiting for something wonderful to happen to make you feel better. God is on your side and will help you, but you have to work too, he can't do all the work for you. And even though it is REALLY difficult sometimes...that is just what you have to do. You have to go out and change things, because nothing is going to change unless you go out there and do something DIFFERENT. That's the key here, doing something different, changing something in your life to make it a little bit better. In my case that was staying away from certain people, because once I started to go back to them I felt miserable again, so I've got to change that. I've got to be happy again. Because being depressed...is over rated. And I'm done dealing with it.

{Obsessions and Declarations of Faith}

I know that this title is a little bit strange...but I promise by the end of this post it will make sense. I've recently seen the movie "Soul Surfer" and I immediately fell in love with it. Not only is it a great movie, but it has a fantastic message. The first time I saw this movie I had just gotten home from girls camp, so I already had a very spiritual sense of mind. A sense of mind this movie has helped me keep. I was kind of nervous the first time I watched this movie, because I knew what was going to happen, I just didn't know when. But the whole attack scene was really not that bad, it could have been a whole lot worse. I remember that during that scene she kept saying "please Jesus, get me to the beach" it hit me very hard. After I had seen the movie a few times I decided I wanted to read the book. It was a touching read because Bethany goes into a lot more detail and I remember at times I would tear up and want to stop. But I couldn't. She talk about how moments after the attack she had the terrifying thought "you could die" but she pushes the negativity away with a prayer and thinks "I am in God's hands" how can that not move you?? She also talks about how while in the ambulance the EMT sitting with her whispers "God will never leave you." Her response in the book is "he was right." It amazes me how even after something so traumatic she can still have such faith in the lord. There is a Scripture mentioned in both the movie and the book, And that is: Jeremiah 29:11 "for I know the plans that I have for you, says the lord, plarns to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. In the book that Scripture was used as a revelation that Bethany's youth leader, Sarah Hill, is given to give to the Hamilton family after Bethany's attack. In the movie Sarah says it at their rag night as something that has has a great impact on her life. Well, it had an impact on mine too. Now, don't get me wrong, I know I've never gone through anything even in comparison to Bethany Hamilton. But I've had trials, trials that sometimes I don't understand. But I know that I have these trials to strengthen me, and my faith. My trials have made me a better person. And I am grateful for every one of them. I do have faith in my heavenly father, and in Jesus Christ. And I wish that when I have trials that I could look to them more. In the book Soul Surfer, Bethany talks about how she doesn't blame God for what happened to her, she says that he knew it was going to happen and he made a way for her to have a happy, prosperous life despite of her attack. And I believe that too, I believe that the bad things that happen to us aren't because of God, they are just things that needed to happen to us, and the good things that come from the bad, hard things are the work of God. I know that it is totally cheesy that a movie has strengthened my testimony, but it has. The story of Soul Surfer has inspired me to do and want so many things. It has had such a great impact on my life. Its truly amazing.

So my dear readers that is what I wanted to say, for those of you still lost my obsession is Souls Surfer. And my declaration of faith in pretty plainly states above. I really believe that the message of Soul Surfer is that "you can do all things" because you can. And if Bethany Hamilton ever happens to read this, (which is unlikely but possible) I just want to thank her for sharing her story with the world :)

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~Save it for a rainy day~

this is the gutter outside my house, Can you see it? Neither can I.

This is the curb...Still can't see it.

the View outside my house because I was too scared to get off my porch...

Waking up this morning it seemed like a rather dreary day, but then it started Pouring rain, Like everything was flooding. It was fantastic, I just love the rain, it rained ridiculous on saturday too, I went out and played in it with Isa, it was fantastic, and a few weeks earlier it was raining and I went out with Ashley and Shannon, I have some picture of that, I will put them up shortly.